Wholphin is very exposed. Get it?! Wholphin don't wear clothes.
An aside: If you type in "wholphin", and click on related videos for a little less than a minute, you end up with this:Wholphin.
Notice to myself and anyone reading this: we have way too much time on our hands, and turning off all of your appliances is the only option to retain sanity. I'm watching you, toaster.
I'm really glad I'm not looking for work in Key West...or maybe I could make a living a medical operations assistant.
Cocktail Waitress/Tub Girl - Duval
Season is coming and we need a couple of sexy women to serve drinks to our thirsty customer. Come have fun with us right in the heart of lower Duval and make lots of money too. Experience is good but a great do what it takes attitude is better. Please respond with a resume and picture and tell us why I should hire you over the other 50 resumes I am going to get
Compensation: tips
Office Help
Must have experience with Office Products
PRIMARY RESPONSIBILITIES
- Answer Phones
- Create, modify office documents
- Perform general clerical duties to include but not limited to: faxing, mailing, order entry
Compensation: $13/hr.
Operational Medical Assistant
Medical assistant needed in high-volume practice. Providing high quality patient care, preparation and breakdown of the operating room, and assisting physician with necessary procedural duties.
Must have:
High School diploma or equivalent, Excellent communication skills, particularly listening, Basic computer skills, Planning and organization skills, Positive and energetic
We can offer: $18.00 an hour for qualified candidates.
Compensation: $18.00 an hour
Management & Staff wanted for the Adult Entertainment Club of Key West
Management and staff wanted
make 12 dollars an hour or up $322 per day!!!
**Qualifications**
Must be computer literate ie. be able to send an email, cut and paste, simple computer skills!
Must be able to follow a checklist of opening and closing procedures daily
Must understand that fraternizing with "the girls" is not allowed and will result in immediate termination
**Duties**
Must be able to deliver the "PITCH" explaining how it all works (training provided)
Must be willing and able to negotiate with potential clients in order to get them to stay
Must be able to refill Promotional Racks
MUST BE ABLE TO FOLLOW AND ENFORCE ALL COMPANY POLICIES!!!!!! Must be able to handle the occasional unhappy client in a quick and efficiant manner
please call 305 294 3824 or email us your resume to keywest 77@yahoo.com
Compensation: 12hr or up $322 a day
Promotional Staff Needed!!
The Adult Entertainment Club is hiring promoters!!!! You choose the hours you work! Self motivated people have unlimited earning potentional!! No experience needed! we will train you!!! make hundreds a day!!! If interested please call 305 294 3824 or stop by 1221 Duval street between 4 and 7 pm!!!
Compensation: 200-300 a day!!!
Construction
Relocation of an employee is opening a position with Certified Residential Contractor. Our work is diversified and all members of our crew are expected to be willing to work at assorted projects.
At this time we are looking for an assistant who has the following Cell Phone
Transportation
Some experience preferably to include concrete work.
Our current jobs are having our workers at a refurbishment of a home, concrete sidewalk, screen enclosures. Some tools
Driver' License
Applicant MUST BE IN KEY West to apply and available to report to work immediately.
Interested qualifying applicants should call 239-694-5705 or email lillianbeth1@yahoo.com
Compensation: $12.00 per hour
Spinning Instructor
I am a Certified Spinning Instructor. I have five years of experience in a high-end fitness facility. I would like to obtain a Spinning Instructor position anywhere from Key West to Marathon. I have also been certified as a Personal Trainer and Pilates Instructor.
Compensation: Open
Technical Helpdesk Team
Helpdesk associates wanted for immediate hire. Provide first-level support to users by researching and answering questions; resolving problems; providing resources. Helpdesk Techs start at up to $20.00 per hour.
Improves client references by writing and maintaining documentation. Participates in development of client training programs by identifying learning issues; recommending instructional language. Accommodates client disabilities by recommending devices and techniques. Avoids legal challenges by monitoring compliance with service agreements. Improves system performance by identifying problems; recommending changes.
Necessary skills: Problem Solving, Help Desk Experience, Phone Skills, Customer Service, Training, Verbal Communication, Coaching, Documentation
Compensation: $20.00 per hour
Promotions Assistant
Part-time Promotions Assistant
The Promotions Assistant will assist the Promotions Director and Assistant Director in the execution of station events and promotions and will interact with listeners at concerts, promotions and other events while representing the station in a professional manner.
Some responsibilities include: Checking sound equipment, hanging banners, handing out prizes and other activities to ensure successful events.
If interested, please contact; nathan.sterling76@gmail.com
Compensation: Very competitive pay
Local Representative needed for International Student
Good afternoon! Forte International Exchange Association is pleased to announce the opening of a local representative position in the Key West area for our company. This is a part-time (5-10 hours a month), contracted position with commission.
The principal responsibility of a local representative of FIEA is to act as a liaison between our international students, their host families, and our offices in Washington DC. Our local representatives are responsible for ensuring the safety and well-being of our students in the area, and carry out tasks such as checking out the host family home, performing monthly checkups with the student and family over the phone/in person, and filling out forms to send to our office in DC. This work will take a few hours a week, and we will pay $400 for each student this is done for.
An additional responsibility is to perform searches in the immediate area for families willing to host international students. For every family found, our organization will pay you a commission of $400.
For more information and to request an application to be considered, please email Alex at alex@forteintl.com.
We look forward to hearing from you.
My boyfriend and I will be attending Fantasy Fest in Key West from Oct. 28-30th and are looking for an experienced make-up artist and hair stylist.
Open-mindedness is key. We need someone who can bring it~!
Please prove rates as well as references and photos of past work.
Serious inquiries only!
Compensation: Rates will be discussed
Management Couple
Professional couple looking for full time employment with a family, individual, real estate investor, or business owner. A future employer would be able to take full advantage of our diverse skill sets in management and problem solving.
Profile
Wife:
Retired junior high English teacher who retired early. Organized and manages a non-profit that offers support and services for GLBTQ youth. This candidate posses outstanding communication and leadership skills. She is intelligent, well read, and well traveled. Her sociable, outgoing nature helps her navigate potential problems with ease.
Husband:
Retired professional photographer who owned his own studio in Detroit, Michigan for 25 years. He continued as a real estate manager for several years. This candidate has a diverse background in management, home system repair, and computer technology.
Together:
This couple just completed a three year commitment of managing and operating a bed & breakfast/event center owned by a historic neighborhood association. The husband was responsible for all marketing, promotion, and facility management. The wife maintained the facility and was in charge of cleaning personnel. She also prepared menus and cooked breakfast. Plus she created a landscape plan and worked with local master gardeners to maintain garden beds. Together they have renovated several historic homes, and they are both adept at basic home repairs and maintenance.
We are very flexible in our options. Consider us if you are looking for a healthy, energetic couple who are highly ethical, hardworking, and open-minded to help take care of your real estate investment or business. Brenda 419-255-7510
I may have a mouthful of NyQuil while writing this, but I think Jim Ristrem is my new hero. I met Jim today when he came into the shop I work at, shook my hand, introducing himself and giving me his "card." Old fashioned networking. "I've been photographing criminal activity in the neighborhood," Jim says, gesturing towards the walls, as if the store were a neighborhood that he felt confident had been documented in all it's evil. I nod, because Jim looks sort of normal, and to add to his validity, he coincidentally walked in with two police officers, who happen to only be looking for sandwiches at the moment, but under Jim's pretense, seem to authorize what Jim is telling me. "I had to post the site through a hospital because when I started it I was getting death threats." I nod again, glancing back at the hungry officer, "Good to know you're out there, Jim." I say. For some reason this appeases Jim and whatever form of truth he has decided to express in a butcher shop, in front of two cops who aren't paying attention, and me dumbfounded. Jim leaves quickly, and in my memory instantly, because I'm now affixed on the cop saying to me "I think I'll have a meatloaf panini." "Have you ever been to that guy's website?" I ask. "Whose?" says the guy cop, looking around the shop. "The guy who was just in here, he said he was taking photos of illegal behavior in the neighborhood. Have you seen his site?" They both laugh, but nervously, as if I'd asked a question they either didn't understand or they weren't at liberty to answer. They say something about how phone tips are better...but they don't acknowledge anything. Was Jim ever in the butcher shop at all, because all I remember is Jim. No face or identifying characteristics, just that he looked like a normal middle aged white guy. I glance to the counter where I'd folded the note absent-mindedly. I want to ask the cop what Jim looked like, but I was busy cutting meatloaf to wonder too long.
This is what I saw: No one should die because they cannot afford healthcare, and no one should go broke because they get sick.
This is what I wrote: sooo impressed that people are willing to sacrifice their important status updates for a whole 24 hours. watch out health care reform, people are making a difference...or at least pretending they are trying.
This was the response: ...umm..who is willing to give up their status updates for 24 hours? certainly not me. here in china, where facebook is banned, i use my status updates to express my individuality and my uncrushable free spirit. whats going on, is there a big to-do in facebook usa? ...is there a facebook boycott i'm missing? ...I love you, but you're a dick. ...i think both statements have value. ...This thread is rad. ...I agree. It seems like a way to feel like one has affected change when all they've done is update their status on a website. That being said, arguing about it on the same site seems similarly futile, my own remarks included.
Trumped by the insignificance of all statements shared via the interweb, one must also recognize the power of social networking and the power of masses we have accrued through this beautiful and terrifying virtual community.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
A good culture should never be neglected, whether it be dairy, alcoholic, or human.
Monday, August 31, 2009
An Open Letter To Wearers of Che Guevara Emblazoned Clothing, Stop it. You are the saddest scum of the earth, one step above the scum who actually profit from selling this shit to you. You are the scum that keeps the base scum alive and growing. Stop now. I’ve been meaning to say this for a while, but I knew the time was ripe last week. I saw a girl on campus wearing a blue winter parka, with “GUEVARA” stitched in large letters above the trademark monochrome red and black graphic of Che. I wanted to grab her by the fake fur lining of the coat’s hood and drag her the three thousand miles south to Havana, where she would starve in the wilderness defending herself against attacking fighter planes with only a rifle until she was shot in the legs, almost dying from gangrene. Then ask her if her coat is still “in style.” I should’ve at least asked her where she bought it, so I could burn the store down. Ernesto Guevara de la Serna is spinning in the shallow grave he was executed in. The man wasn’t named Minister of Industries in Cuba to see his face adorned on every confused teenager desperate for a battle cry. He dedicated his life to healing and helping the poor and powerless. You are dedicating yourself to corporate masters who have molded a false revolution based on product fetishism. The late comedian Bill Hicks said it best: "If anyone here is in advertising or marketing: KILL YOURSELF.” Similarly, I say unto you, the pacified rebels of materialism: kill yourself. I know this could be interpreted as satire, but this is no joke. There is no punch line, no ha-ha. Kill yourself. You are the people who drive around in the same gas guzzling metal death machines with the same bumper stickers that say, “The gene pool could use a little chlorine.” You are also the same people who don’t wear condoms. You buy statues of Buddha and Jesus, and if Mohammed could be depicted you’d probably have him on the dashboard of your Ford Extinction. You’re like a punk band that changed musical genres to sell more records, fuck you! Get out of the gene pool. It’s time for adult swim. Pathetic self-construed social deviants are one of the reasons The Struggle is dismissed as “adolescent revolutionary romanticism.” The ideology has eroded to a fashion trend. But I know a struggle remains, perhaps even in that shallow center of insatiable desire you pretend to call a mind. Let’s not pretend. You’re a victim of your own ignorance. Wake up. The symbol has lost meaning. I wish I could believe that everyone who bears the face of Che stands in solidarity, that this is a social movement and not a fashion faux pas. But unless you liberated the sweatshop workers who stitched your clothing together, or staged a coup d’etat on the Hot Topic you bought it at, you’re plain fucking scum. You bought into the most disgusting trend in the history of marketing and political thought, aside from capitalism itself. Stop now, and maybe some redemption can be found. Che once said, “A true revolutionary is guided by strong feelings of love,” strange words from a guerilla soldier. Jihad for God. God is Love. Love is blind. So maybe this is satire, and not just this letter. I jest because I love. I should be worried about the increasing divide between the developed "northern" countries and impoverished 3rd world nations of the "south," helping to create a true global equality in the economy. I should be donating my time to charity, not wasting breath or ink. Nah. Fuck it. I’ll stick to my guns. You suck. Ashamedly and dejectedly yours, Another John J. Righteous Hypocrite
P.S. I bought a shirt of Dr. Gonzo today. Who's worse?
I found the image for the title of the blog as one of the first images with photos of real people online searching for "social networking." Apparently, Google doesn't associate with anyone darker than a good high yellow piss colored lookin' muthafucka. Is that Carson Daly in the top right?
...Or birthing, depending on how you want to screw everyone over. Only 6,779,836,918 people left to add! Somebody will eventually accept me as a friend!! FIRE BAD.
(and people have thought of writing, but haven’t):
Pinky Charlatan is yo baby mama.
Haley Comet has lung cancer.
Sarah Palin is ready to admit she is the death panels.
Martha Stew Art just lost her grandmother, and is wondering if life is as precious as the ring she just inherited. Goodbye Granny, Hello Pawnshop!
Ninny Grim has dark thoughts, and seeks the clean release of pain.
Chuck Darwin is so drunk he really shouldn’t be updating on his iphone and driving.
Pookie Jones smacks a ho!
Perjor Thinskin just ate dinner, then snuck quietly to the bathroom.
Max Powers is better than all of you, and has the money (and arrogance) to show it.
Ray Band just took all the quizzes on Facebook and earned their third party advertisers a BUTTLOAD of money! Hep-hep-hooray for free markets, invisible hands, and violation of privacy!
Conifer Blight just got out of prison again. Who’s got some weed??
Mindy Bender is on medication and can’t feel her emotions.
Barack Obama just got confused for a terrorist again.
Because You Can't Make Any Real Friends. 
