Jim Ristrem is at it again!

		Year 2009 Statistics I intend to remove this website in late February 2010. Thank you for visiting. Jim, will you take my hand in holy paranoia? to conspire with and in the cause of the greater good that the voices in both of our minds tell us is the true path? to obsess and disturb? in recluse or in manic public displays of hysteria? in purpose of justice and peace and in the name of the sponge in the sink, Eddy, the true prophet of the chrome sinkdom? till death do one of us takes the plunge to a rifle in the mouth after climbing a clocktower and picking off the non-believers? I DO.

Hallelujah, the Spirit has returned!

No reason to lie: I've been drinking my fair share of Haterade lately. Maybe the fatigue has caught up with me, but I'm trying not to spend copious spare amounts of spare time gleefully wasted on facebook. I've been neglecting blogs, though, and that just ain't proper. But lo and behold, with a little help from my friends, my faith has been restored!

First and foremost, through the grace of facebook, my friend introduced me to the best thing I've seen in a while. For your edification, I refer you to Die Antwoord. Anyone who doesn't find this remarkable and endearing is an asshole. Including DJ Hi-Tek. Sorry Hi-Tek. Love you. And I really hope this is NOT your official MySpace page.


Another thing referred to me, this time by TV God Stephen Colbert, is Blippy. I'm so glad that people want to be known publicly to the world as consumer whores. Really though, only in 'Merica.

Finally, a few links to friends' (and just plain awesome) blogs, because these people are great and I love them and everyone should follow them bloggingly.
best thing ever in the world
All We Ever Wanted (Was Everything)
Bike Messenger Boyfriend
People of WalMart
Progressive Music House
Grant Earl LeValley
Sweet
Awesome Tapes From Africa

Does This Include a Gratuity?

"ROOM SERVICE!!

HOW YAH DOING DOWN THERE??

WARM MILK.."

agent cooper!

"HUNG IT UP FOR YAH!!"

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anonymous

Message to the TROLLS: The brainwaves can NOT be stopped by any substance. Only the the distance(euclidian space) can lower their energy. The wave travels in air for about ~1 mile. These are ELF (Xtra low frequency) waves. There are animals (aquatic) that can communicate using ELF for K's milles. The stupid Systems(gvts) use this feature to communicate with their subs. In U$ Florida and California coast have huge underground wires, to transmit these waves for k's milles in water. These waves have v. low frequencies (f) and longer wave-lenghts. Soon, M(j,t) will START WW3( 75 to 95 from WW2) , then you will care Stupid Slaves(Trolls)

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anonymous

ON "the GARbAGE:CIA(Security)" They are poisoning people's AIR (24/7 NON STOP: PreSSURe:TORTURE \ TERROR ) in ALL NaTO SLAVE countrie$\BILDenberg(Mason)\.I know many of you know this, however you do not know why ?! . The reality is that the poisonings are used ,just because they can: TO KILL, older people, children,.etc!, (there is no real reason, for it ). The other half of the truth is that they are trying to create the illusion (E) of omni-presence and you Nab$(slave$:) do not have\stand a chance; FEAR. Also, provocations to detect "rebels" and to KILL they are trying to ERASE as many of you as possible (ww3: www : World Wide Web: ww3\ 75 yrs to 95 yrs from WW2: avg. 80 years). In U$A they are poisoning the AIR in : Churches, Malls, Hotels, Schools,Tunnels, Street Intersections, Industrial Areas, Ghettos, Residential areas, Washington DC governmental buildings, including Langley. VA; Also, the feds/Cops are under Surveillance and Poisons: Many afflictions that we are so used too, do not actually exist(s). Here you have some of them: allergies, asthma( AS M ), skin ichings, headaches, pulse, blood pressure, neck\ear discomfort, sleep- lessness,or state of sleep: highways, chest pressure, testacles pain, tooth aches,bleedings, dizziness, heat stroke,etc are GAS:AIR (Poison) induced. I suspect that at least 2/3 of actually sick persons started with symptoms generated by GASSE$. Also, they are poisoning your water and food: Alzheimer, Diabetes, Cancers, etc .; it is a very BIG Busines$. Some of the gases that M (cya) and M use are Nerve gas derivative or low concentration ( also, the MIL have these gases). There is NO NEW conspiracy, just the existing ones: a very old one M j,t. flagrant CIVIL and Human Rights Violations; TOTAL CORRUPTION .

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anonymous

Message to the TROLLS: The brainwaves can NOT be stopped by any substance. Only the the distance(euclidian space) can lower their energy. The wave travel in air for about ~1 mile. These are ELF (Xtra low frequency) waves. There are animals (aquatic) that can communicate using ELF for K's milles. The stupid Systems(gvts) use this feature to communicate with their subs. In U$ Florida and California coast have huge underground wires, to transmit these waves for k's milles in water. These waves have v. low frequencies (f) and longer wave-lenghts. Soon, M(j,t) will START WW3( 75 to 95 from WW2) , then you will care Stupid Slaves(Trolls) . STAY AWAY FROM ANY WIRES.

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anonymous

Diane is his secretary... just his secretary. You never see her.

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anonymous

Diane is Cooper's secretary/assistant back at the FBI.

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anonymous

maybe his secretary or assistant.

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anonymous

not sure but i think diane is his partner, like mulder/scully.

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anonymous

Diane = secretary?

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anonymous

i'm pretty sure that diane's his wife



"THE MILK'LL GET COOL PRETTY SOON..."

okay.


"I HEARD ABOUT YOU."

I'm pretty stoked on Wholphin.

Ocular orgasms.
Good tunes.
If you know what's wholphin for you, you'll wholphin and give into wholphin.

I should get free wholphin for this.

Wholphin is very exposed. Get it?! Wholphin don't wear clothes.

An aside:
If you type in "wholphin", and click on related videos for a little less than a minute, you end up with this:Wholphin.

Notice to myself and anyone reading this: we have way too much time on our hands, and turning off all of your appliances is the only option to retain sanity. I'm watching you, toaster.

Craigslist Job Search for Key West, Florida 9/15-28/09 (No editing needed.)

I'm really glad I'm not looking for work in Key West...or maybe I could make a living a medical operations assistant.

Cocktail Waitress/Tub Girl - Duval

Season is coming and we need a couple of sexy women to serve drinks to our thirsty customer. Come have fun with us right in the heart of lower Duval and make lots of money too. Experience is good but a great do what it takes attitude is better. Please respond with a resume and picture and tell us why I should hire you over the other 50 resumes I am going to get

• Compensation: tips

Office Help

Must have experience with Office Products

PRIMARY RESPONSIBILITIES
- Answer Phones
- Create, modify office documents
- Perform general clerical duties to include but not limited to: faxing, mailing, order entry

• Compensation: $13/hr.

Operational Medical Assistant

Medical assistant needed in high-volume practice. Providing high quality patient care, preparation and breakdown of the operating room, and assisting physician with necessary procedural duties.

Must have:

High School diploma or equivalent, Excellent communication skills, particularly listening, Basic computer skills, Planning and organization skills, Positive and energetic

We can offer: $18.00 an hour for qualified candidates.

• Compensation: $18.00 an hour

Management & Staff wanted for the Adult Entertainment Club of Key West

Management and staff wanted
make 12 dollars an hour or up $322 per day!!!
**Qualifications**
Must be computer literate ie. be able to send an email, cut and paste, simple computer skills!
Must be able to follow a checklist of opening and closing procedures daily
Must understand that fraternizing with "the girls" is not allowed and will result in immediate termination

**Duties**
Must be able to deliver the "PITCH" explaining how it all works (training provided)
Must be willing and able to negotiate with potential clients in order to get them to stay
Must be able to refill Promotional Racks
MUST BE ABLE TO FOLLOW AND ENFORCE ALL COMPANY POLICIES!!!!!!
Must be able to handle the occasional unhappy client in a quick and efficiant manner

please call 305 294 3824 or email us your resume to keywest 77@yahoo.com

• Compensation: 12hr or up $322 a day

Promotional Staff Needed!!

The Adult Entertainment Club is hiring promoters!!!! You choose the hours you work! Self motivated people have unlimited earning potentional!! No experience needed! we will train you!!! make hundreds a day!!! If interested please call 305 294 3824 or stop by 1221 Duval street between 4 and 7 pm!!!

• Compensation: 200-300 a day!!!

Construction

Relocation of an employee is opening a position with Certified Residential Contractor.
Our work is diversified and all members of our crew are expected to be willing to work at assorted projects.
At this time we are looking for an assistant who has the following
Cell Phone
Transportation
Some experience preferably to include concrete work.
Our current jobs are having our workers at a refurbishment of a home, concrete sidewalk, screen enclosures.
Some tools
Driver' License
Applicant MUST BE IN KEY West to apply and available to report to work immediately.

Interested qualifying applicants should call 239-694-5705 or email lillianbeth1@yahoo.com

• Compensation: $12.00 per hour

Spinning Instructor

I am a Certified Spinning Instructor. I have five years of experience in a high-end fitness facility. I would like to obtain a Spinning Instructor position anywhere from Key West to Marathon. I have also been certified as a Personal Trainer and Pilates Instructor.

• Compensation: Open

Technical Helpdesk Team

Helpdesk associates wanted for immediate hire. Provide first-level support to users by researching and answering questions; resolving problems; providing resources. Helpdesk Techs start at up to $20.00 per hour.

Improves client references by writing and maintaining documentation. Participates in development of client training programs by identifying learning issues; recommending instructional language. Accommodates client disabilities by recommending devices and techniques. Avoids legal challenges by monitoring compliance with service agreements. Improves system performance by identifying problems; recommending changes.

Necessary skills: Problem Solving, Help Desk Experience, Phone Skills, Customer Service, Training, Verbal Communication, Coaching, Documentation

• Compensation: $20.00 per hour

Promotions Assistant

Part-time Promotions Assistant

The Promotions Assistant will assist the Promotions Director and Assistant Director in the execution of station events and promotions and will interact with listeners at concerts, promotions and other events while representing the station in a professional manner.

Some responsibilities include:
Checking sound equipment, hanging banners, handing out prizes and other activities to ensure successful events.

If interested, please contact; nathan.sterling76@gmail.com

• Compensation: Very competitive pay

Local Representative needed for International Student

Good afternoon! Forte International Exchange Association is pleased to announce the opening of a local representative position in the Key West area for our company. This is a part-time (5-10 hours a month), contracted position with commission.

The principal responsibility of a local representative of FIEA is to act as a liaison between our international students, their host families, and our offices in Washington DC. Our local representatives are responsible for ensuring the safety and well-being of our students in the area, and carry out tasks such as checking out the host family home, performing monthly checkups with the student and family over the phone/in person, and filling out forms to send to our office in DC. This work will take a few hours a week, and we will pay $400 for each student this is done for.

An additional responsibility is to perform searches in the immediate area for families willing to host international students. For every family found, our organization will pay you a commission of $400.

For more information and to request an application to be considered, please email Alex at alex@forteintl.com.
We look forward to hearing from you.

• Compensation: $400 per student

MUA and Hair Stylist Needed for Fantasy Fest

My boyfriend and I will be attending Fantasy Fest in Key West from Oct. 28-30th and are looking for an experienced make-up artist and hair stylist.
Open-mindedness is key. We need someone who can bring it~!
Please prove rates as well as references and photos of past work.
Serious inquiries only!

• Compensation: Rates will be discussed

Management Couple

Professional couple looking for full time employment with a family, individual, real estate investor, or business owner. A future employer would be able to take full advantage of our diverse skill sets in management and problem solving.

Profile

Wife:
Retired junior high English teacher who retired early. Organized and manages a non-profit that offers support and services for GLBTQ youth. This candidate posses outstanding communication and leadership skills. She is intelligent, well read, and well traveled. Her sociable, outgoing nature helps her navigate potential problems with ease.

Husband:
Retired professional photographer who owned his own studio in Detroit, Michigan for 25 years. He continued as a real estate manager for several years. This candidate has a diverse background in management, home system repair, and computer technology.

Together:
This couple just completed a three year commitment of managing and operating a bed & breakfast/event center owned by a historic neighborhood association. The husband was responsible for all marketing, promotion, and facility management. The wife maintained the facility and was in charge of cleaning personnel. She also prepared menus and cooked breakfast. Plus she created a landscape plan and worked with local master gardeners to maintain garden beds. Together they have renovated several historic homes, and they are both adept at basic home repairs and maintenance.

We are very flexible in our options. Consider us if you are looking for a healthy, energetic couple who are highly ethical, hardworking, and open-minded to help take care of your real estate investment or business. Brenda 419-255-7510

• Compensation: Negotionable

Zach Galifianakis posted this video on Facebeaner. We're friends online. We go back....way back...online.

Criminal Activity at Kaiser HMO

I may have a mouthful of NyQuil while writing this, but I think Jim Ristrem is my new hero. I met Jim today when he came into the shop I work at, shook my hand, introducing himself and giving me his "card." Old fashioned networking.
"I've been photographing criminal activity in the neighborhood," Jim says, gesturing towards the walls, as if the store were a neighborhood that he felt confident had been documented in all it's evil.
I nod, because Jim looks sort of normal, and to add to his validity, he coincidentally walked in with two police officers, who happen to only be looking for sandwiches at the moment, but under Jim's pretense, seem to authorize what Jim is telling me.
"I had to post the site through a hospital because when I started it I was getting death threats."
I nod again, glancing back at the hungry officer, "Good to know you're out there, Jim." I say.
For some reason this appeases Jim and whatever form of truth he has decided to express in a butcher shop, in front of two cops who aren't paying attention, and me dumbfounded. Jim leaves quickly, and in my memory instantly, because I'm now affixed on the cop saying to me "I think I'll have a meatloaf panini."
"Have you ever been to that guy's website?" I ask.
"Whose?" says the guy cop, looking around the shop.
"The guy who was just in here, he said he was taking photos of illegal behavior in the neighborhood. Have you seen his site?"
They both laugh, but nervously, as if I'd asked a question they either didn't understand or they weren't at liberty to answer.
They say something about how phone tips are better...but they don't acknowledge anything.
Was Jim ever in the butcher shop at all, because all I remember is Jim. No face or identifying characteristics, just that he looked like a normal middle aged white guy.
I glance to the counter where I'd folded the note absent-mindedly.
I want to ask the cop what Jim looked like, but I was busy cutting meatloaf to wonder too long.

http://home.earthlink.net/~jimristrem/

Good to know you're out there, Jim.